MANILA

Well, the story so far is that after a few days in Manila getting money and visa extentions sorted we flew straight over to El Nido in northern Palawan.
Manila was as rough as I'd imagined ... our day involved getting to immigration and all the hours that took but the weird thing was that it was in one of the better parts of town but that the building around it were heaps of rubble with the facades still standing ... we realised that a lot of this damage was done in World War II ... !!!
but the ruins are still standing around waiting for renovation ... Went to the Santiago Fort, one of the few "sights" and that was more WW II damaged buildings ... left as an historical reminder it was poigniant..but as the city's major tourist draw it was pretty desperate.
Still, the people we ran into were all typically laid back and freindly Filippinos and despite the total pollution ... (black deisel fumes pouring out of the millions of tricycles and buses and motorbikes ... gagging fumes from burning rubbish) it wasn't as hellish as I'd imagined ... great food in the restaurants around Malate and we got to enjoy some serious crooning from a mariachi band ...
Anyhow on to the good stuff ... El Nido was great, we set ourselves up in a cheapish place (everywhere we've stayed has been at the farthest right hand side of the beach ... any significance?) and took a boat out to one of the thirty odd island off shore. They were all vertical rock faces sticking out of the sea, jungle clad with little beaches clinging to the edges ... we skipped the ubiquitous "island tours" bit and just got someone to drop us at an island with two bottles of water and a pack of sandwiches and got picked up again before sunset.

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PALAWAN - EL NIDO


As soon as we got our visa extended we took a private airline that carries tourists to the luxurious resorts on El Nido and got greeted by a female choir singing the El Nido song on a charriot powered by a water buffalo. We trie hard to get flights via the normal carrier but as chance would have it, there were all full, and only twice a week and paid an extra 50 dollars to get to the paradise of El Nido ...

The village called the Nest, is of course nestled in a beautiful bay but also home to a flourishing industry of bird nests. Birds take advantage of the giant limestone formations to make their nests and every year, the villagers would climb up the steep and dangerous rocks to collect the nests and sell them to China or Manila. Other than that, El Nido lives off the sea and tourism.

After visiting a few guesthouses, we settled for the one outside the main village, a nice and airy Filipino style building with cheap but comfortable rooms. The balcony outside the room had a 180 degrees view on the sea, and our days there were divided between reading on the balcony and exploring nearby beaches ..



A beach a day

Because of the season, the main beach on the village was at high tide during the day leaving a thin corridor of sand until evening, not much of a Beach to lye and mong on, so we decided to charter a boat and explore the surrounding islets ... .

Armed with sandwitches, water, snorkels, masks and books, we were dropped off on deserted and pristine white sand beaches every morning, only to be collected in the evening. A whole day of swimming, reading and ... well, relaxing all by ourselves. Every beach was more beautiful than the other but had one big problem : starving mosquitoes.

The islands, all unhabited had a population of mosquitoes so hungry that even DEET loaded OFF wouldnt keep them away. We ended up mixing mosquito repellent with sun cream ... a combination we'd never tried before ...



Partying with the anti-terrorist squad ...

For three of these days we met no one ... except a dog that wandered out of the jungle ... the best island we found was called Helicopter ... all the beaches and islands had names like Seven Commandos, Lapus Lapus but no one we asked knew why.
Anyhow at the end of the day we decided to walk around the island and found another group ... all pissed on this evil looking red rum (get it?) ... they were very friendly and red eyed and looked like they were on the fag end of a three day bender.. (does that sound right?)
it was strange cos after a day languishing in the shade of a tree on this beautiful island they told us that we had nothing to worry about ... everythings okay and were all fine ... we agreed completely and I asked to borrow their snorkle as I'd left mine up the beach ... after that they offered more rum and have another go of the snorkle ..
anyhow, it turns out that these guys were the local anti-terrorist unit on their day off ... they explained about their moustaches and side burns for plain clothes work and introduced us to their captain who was also well pissed. He told us not to worry and there's no Abu Sayef in these parts..not with them around ... then he joked that in fact they were Abu Sayef and that we'd already been kidnapped ... which was hysterically funny of course ... then , no, no not really don't worry this is beautiful Palawan and it's the weekend. Aya pointed out that it was Monday which made them laugh even more. We were saved by our boat returning and got away without drinking the red rum.


Snorkeling tour ... Big lagoon, Small lagoons and the likes ...
The next few days we ran into a young German guy called Timo and a Californian couple Sarah and George, and Julie so we did the boat tour thing which was great for snorkling ... found a turtle which was the highlight for me, just floated past me and let me trail it for what seemed like ages but probably only a few minutes.
Finally left El Nido after our new found friends moved off to dive Wrecks in Coron (we're planning on trying an introduction dive in Bohol).

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PORT BARTON


El Nido - Port Barton via Tay Tay
Clenched our teeth (and bums) for the long bus journey down through Palawan ... decided to break it into sections for sanities sake ... the first was a buzz ... the guest house had forgot to book our seats so we ended up on the roof for the two hour ride ... fantastic air-conditioning and views but the branches were a bitch ... the roads in Palalwan are dirt tracks so the dust from passing buses covered everything ... looked like we'd just rode out the desert after that one ... two tires burst during the two hour trip and left us blinking in the sun for half and hour a lad next to us was moaning 'Philippines..noooo good" which by that point was pretty funny ... the final one burst just outside the town we were headed to so were bailed out and took a tricycle the rest of the way.

Tay Tay was uneventful but had a great sunset and saw the weirdest vehicles ... people just welded diffent parts together ... the best being an old forties style truck body (with the pointed nose) welded to the front half of a motorbike ... and another at a blurred glance was a guy standing on a platform with four wheels like an overgrown scooter thing whizzing along the road with two standing fans on either side off him ... for propulsion..a cooling breeze? The next day we got seats in the bus!! ... and it was an uneventful trip to San Jose then a hellish two hour ride squashed into an already packed Jeepney to Port Barton.

Port Barton was very sleepy with no traffic and dogs and in the house of the chief of the Village, near the Mangrove Forest, Port Barton ...
Cockrels roaming about everywhere ... (we reckoned there were as many dogs as people in El Nido and they just roam about all day doing their doggy things) we stayed in the nice Greenviews Resort and there was no one else there ...
a bit twee with lace and garrish dust covers on the fans ... Aya thought it stank of mold. Still, nicest rooms we'd had so far ... did the best snorkling yet off a beautiful coral reef aptly named 'The Aquarium' ... went into the mangrove forest early one morning with promise of spotting snakes and Monkeys..after a lot of looking spotted a few snakes ...

"What's that called? ... Mangrove Snake ...
How about that one? ... Stripey Mangrove snake ...
I see,and what types of monkeys do you get round here? ...
Philippine Monkeys ... Right."

The monkeys didn't appear but a passing fisherman said he could show us some monkeys and we followed him to his village.
After a long walk through the village and around some rice paddies we got a sneaking suspicion and sure enough they took us to someones house with a monkey chained in the yard ... still it wasn't as depressing as it sounds ... it was playing with a four year old girl and they all seemed proud of it ... an accepted part of the family ... saying that, had second thoughts when they showed how they'd trained it to put their fags out.

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Yesterday we took the longest and most bum-numbing trip down here to Puerto Princessa ... turned the tyre blowing episodes into a guessing game, Aya guessed none would blow (hopeless optimist) I bet three and in reality there were three blow outs (although one was a double blow out with both rear tyres going at the same time) ... a break down for engine trouble and getting stuck in mud made the three to four hour trip into an eight hours epic ... after that we stayed in our hotel and necked loads of San Miguel.

Puerto is described as an nice Overgrown farm Town in the ever inaccurate guide book but I'd sum it up as a charmless polluted dump where nothing is open and the air scoures the back of your throat like ... well like pure carbon monoxide ... but ... it has an airport so we can fly off to Cebu tomorrow and then sail on to Bohol and it's chocolate hills and internet connections ...

BOHOL

From Cebu to Bohol
The flight to Cebu was good fun with the attendants keeping everyone happy with in flight Karaoke competitions.... kind of like Name That Tune with them taking turns singing over the PA system... mostly Philippine Pop so we didn't win the free key-ring goddmammit !!.
Someone said they sometimes play basketball !! ... save that pleasure for a future trip.

Cebu's the usual grime and bustle of Manilla but on a smaller scale, lots of decaying old buildings gone to seed a long long time ago and years of monixide fumes dusting everything in sight (and shite). In the bit of travelling we've done we've quickly realised that Filippino towns and cities look a lot better if you just focus on the people going about their day to day, a fair amount of smiling faces and waves and a lot of looks like you've just come from another planet (but am well used to that after Japan).

We were there to catch the Super Cat Ferry to Bohol and we're surprised at how much the terminal's changed since we were last here for christams 2001. It used to be a row of delapidated warehouses where you'd hang around for hours then get unceremoniously shoved into a small boiling waiting room packed to the rafters. There was a blind Mariachi band doing the rounds and keeping everyones spirits up.
Now it's a slick terminal with seats ! and aircon !! and the ferry ran on time !!! ... the blind mariachi band has been replaced by a disabled childrens band doing pop numbers on a little stage under disco lighting ... did a mean Corrs cover.

Took a tricycle out to Alona beach from the Ferry at Bohol and got chased by the mother of all tropical storms. The nice beach there gave us half a day of sunshine before the heavens opened again and this time it felt like it was gonna stay.
Should mention that since we were in Port Barton in Palawan we've been playing tag with the exotic sounding 'Typhoon Frank'..huge bugger should've moved off to harrass Taiwan and Japan by now but still lurking over the Philippines.



Bohol Church tour
After another full day of rain decided to cut our losses and head inland for some hiking, biking and other wet weather possibilities. Indulged ourselves with a hired car and driver and set off to see some of the amazing 15th Century coral churches dotted arouns the Island.

We loved the churches we'd seen in Siquijor last time we came to The Philippines ... the epitome of atmospheric with crumbling grandure and frightening examples of Catholic kitch ... doll like stautes in rotting old purple robes ... violent dipictions Christ's suffering and all set of by moldy pews, green fungus on the walls and swallows darting through the rafters...saw a group of bats sleeping in the dome above the alter in Loboc and got a sneak view from the Belfry of an 16th century Jesuit church in Alberqueque ... no ones alowed up there but the preist was out and a helpful guy from the convent next door sneaked us up there...great view of the coast and outlying islands.

One of the highlights of Bohol is it's population of Tarsiers... said to be the worlds smallest monkey but actually a kind of Lemur... to us it looks like a cross between a Gremlin and Gollum.. .tiny body, huge orange eyes that could stare down a tree and long boney hands. We were looking forward to getting to the Nature Reserve which does a lot of work protecting them and their habitat but our driver had other ideas and yes...wanted to take us to see one in a box...this time in a cafe in town... A lot of the riverside cafes seem to be getting the idea of catching them for the tourist even though it's illigal... When we refused and told him to drive us to the Reserve he had a sulk and wouldn't do it. I made a mental note to tell him to go f**k himself then decided to use our hired driver time to full effect and got him to drive us to the far off Chocolate Hills.

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LOBOC - NUTS HUTS
Got a great 360 degrees view across the surreal chocolate hills landscape from the official lookout and tried to look further and have a bit of a hike but the staff looked at us stupid when we asked, no maps, no trails, no idea. Our friendly SUV driver threw a fit at the prospect of driving us down a few dirt roads for a look around the area so we gave up on the idea and got him to drop us off at Nuts Huts.

We were recommended to stay there by Sarah and George and were forewarned that it was probably named after the fragile mental state of the woman who runs it. The location was superb, and in a steep jungle clad ravine with the wide loboc river running through it.
The huts sat along the river bank under a canopy of coconut palms. We virtually had the place to ourselves and the owners were away, so no nuts so far.
Pitch black at 7pm, we spent our nights sat under the stars listening to the racket of frogs, crickets and cicadas and watching the fireflies between the trees.

Spent the days exploring around the area, the hardest bit of which was actually getting out of nuts huts. You could only get into town by walking along the opposite bank of the river and crossing a series of rice paddies, so we spent time trying to find Juan and Juni who were working on the grounds to paddle us across in their tiny canoe.

Loboc is a nice small town with a crumbling old coral stone church and thank god, not a single tricycle in sight instead they were replaced by a steady stream of motorbikes waiting a half built bridge to wisk you where you wanted to go.
it turns out the bridge (big concrete and much sturdier than the wooden one used in town) was being built by some dubious local politician/construction interest who planned to run it staright through the 16th century Loboc Church. Even the corruption of the Philippines couldnt get away with that and so there it sits in the town center half built and providing shade for bike courriers.

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MEET THE TARSIERS ..

We took a ride to the Tarsier center, the driver, me and Aya holding tight and wishing on the weezing engine and the flat tyres.The tarsiers greeted us with huge staring eyes clinging delicately to thin branches with their big knuckled hands. A tarsier stare isnt really at you but through you and everything behind you to some focal point several miles away. they've also a small grin which is cute at first but turns a bit sinister after a few minutes with its trance-like frozen expression.
THe only active tarsier we saw was a mother looking after her cub ; eyes slowly dilating as she fixed her gaze on me and then, not moving a muscle in her body slowy swiveling her head round owl like to get a good look at Aya.
Imal our boat guide in El Nido was brought up in Bohol and when we mentionned the tarsier to him his dropped his easy smile and looked genuinely frightened.
- I dont like .. big eyes
Despite the cuteness, we were starting to see what he meant.

We finally met the nut after a couple of days. There was a table of guest in the restaurant listening to the incessant monologue of a fifty something american peace corp worker. She banged on for hours about every aspect of her life, how lonely she gets, and cramming in a weeks worth chit chat into a three hour monologue.

We saw her again the next morning standing over the only couple who'd manage to put up any sort of fight to her conversion last night.
They'd given up by now and just sat grumly munching through their breakfast while the woman stood over them hands on hips and ranting shit for a full hour.
How hard it is working with the Filipinos but how they love her really, the intensive training skills required,
"they spend more money on training us than on the marines, how windsurfers back home at a much better class of people"
"the guests love it when I chat to them" she ranted at the guests staring at the table
"but they're not all friendly, I dont know that one over there", this obviously directed at me or Aya.
When the guests were making their escape she finally ran of steam, it was like all the tension have left her body, her voice dropped of and octave and she just mumbled to hersefl "I got to get out of this place", and marched away.

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THE TARSIER TRAIL

We met an old guy. Flavio, in a little town on the way back from the tarsier center. We spent half the day trying to find a hiking trail which, despite the usual misinformation in the guide book didnt exist. We reckoned that they wrote it in as someone told them about it but didnt actually use it. A lot of people in the Philippines dont seem to like saying no or rather admitting that they dont know something so you often end up with bum advice.
The trail exists but we dont have a map, we dont know where the trail head is but ask at the tarsier center they:d never heard of it but yes, you should walk a few kilometers down the main road and then turn left up a little dirt path.
We ended up having a great hours walk through lush jungles and rice paddies only to follow a huge meandering U-turn and find ourselves back where we started, blinking and sweating on a concrete road in the midday sun.

By the time we got to the cafe in Sikatuna we both felt thoroughly baked. Flavio would have offered us a lift hours before and it took a lot explaining to get out of it.
"walk ? madness ! we've a car, Loboc is that way down the road ... "
- but we want to hike back ... .
-Please get in the car no need to be shy
Flavio, in his seventies shuffled into the cafe with one of his grand sons and was questionning the staff on the price of every cake under the glass counter.
He bought his grandson a packet of crisps and as he turned to go spotted us collapsed around a corner table.
Laughing at our walking antics he declared that we all needed a beer. Coming back with a liter bottle of the stuff and 3 gla sses we settled in for a good afternoon cession.

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CHOCOLATE HILLS OF BOHOL

We finally got to have a day touring around the chocolate hills with some independance - in a jeep driven by local character Ismael - the jeep was nearly to get us around the dirt track by roads interlacing the rice paddies and the psychadelic landscape.
Ismael entertained us with local stories - how the hills are actually the tears of a heart broken giant who fell in love with a local girl but when he snatched her from ther village she died in the palm of his hand - there is a row of 14 hills in a perfectly straight line that showed the path the giant took, spilling his tears along the way before lying down to die and becoming the nearby mountain.
Between stopping for pictures, walks around rice paddies watching the water buffalos being used to prepare for planting, he told us about Philippines car Horn Etiquette.
One short beep for "hello", two for "look out" but no long beeps which are considererd rude. He was happy to demonstrate as we withpast bicycles, old ladies, children, dogs and other vehicles.

After the center of Bohol we headed back to Panglao island to try our luck with the wheather and perhaps looking to taking an Open Water diving course.
unfortunately the seas were too rough but the strong breeze and sunshing made great sunbathing wheather. After one night in a noisy flea pit where kittens mysteriously managed to cry from just behind the walls then under the bed, then on the roof, all night long, we decided to splurge on accommodation and cut back on activities and travel - a week lounging on the beach, snorkelling and swimming in the pool. Not much happened but blissful relaxation and planning our trip to Borneo.

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LEAVING CEBU

Dodging the Traffic - buses, tricyles, and cars doing their wacky races routine, one jeepney driver bearing down on us mere pedestrians for trying to use the zebra crossing when the green light came on ... . wrong move obviously, we got to spend our final day in the Philippines waiting for our flight in Cebu.
the tricycles with biblical messages stenciled on the back, "god is love", "forgive father for they know not" , "have mercy on us sinners",try to overtake ludge and ram their way into pole position around the town center, made us take refuge in the packed shopping centers. Strange moment came when everyone sudenly stopped moving and stood frozen around the mall. We were glancing around trying to work out what was the cause when we realised the jingles advertisements and pop of the PA was now being replaced by "hail Mary full of grace ... "
We all waited until the end with the articial church bells chiming then bang, hussle bustle and bargain hunting. On our way out to the airport we were sad to leave the Philippines but glad to be geting out of Cebu ... (again)

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